"Even if I do a good job, I always wonder how I could do it better"
As of Sunday, May 29, 2022, at 8:35am, I am officially a Jay Shetty Certified coach. As a way of commencement, I wanted to take this time to reflect on my journey masterfully curated by the Universe, Itself.
It was April 2021, I was participating in my morning routine: walk Petey and educate myself; Jay had just released a new episode so I threw it on. This morning, however, was different. I didn’t realize then what I know now but the Universe had a lesson for me and it showed up in the form of patience. I can’t distinctly recall the reason I didn’t fast forward through the ads, I just knew that I didn’t for a reason and that reason has led me here today.
This was the first morning I heard Jay’s advertisement about his Certification School, I smiled and thought to myself, “OMG this is me” and jotted down the website in my notes and continued to listen to the podcast. Later that night, I searched for it and quickly became inspired and began imagining a life where I was fulfilled in my pursuit as a life coach! The next evening, I’m walking Petey and called my mom (Petey & podcast in the morning, Petey & Sheila in the evening) to tell her about this School I heard about from this guy I listen to and some of the information I read about it online. She listened, expressed similar excitement & sentiment, then we moved on.
That night, the overwhelm sank in. Thoughts of self-doubt and insecurities rushed through my head, “Could I really become a life coach?”, “Am I capable of creating a sustainable business?”, “How do I just change careers like this?”, etc., etc. Add up all the limiting beliefs in the world, and then some; that's what was fleeting through my mind.
What did I do next? Nothing. Well actually, something, pretend like this never came into my life. A month goes by, and I’m fulfilling my morning routine again, I played this little game with myself called “listen to the ads”, and sure enough Jay Shetty Certification School ad plays in the middle of the episode. Like clockwork, I call my mom that evening she gently reminds me of, “that certification school from that guy you like to listen to, just remember, you have money from Uncle Sam still that is for educational purposes you never used for college.” I respond with a chuckle at God's timing, “yeah, I need to do some more research on it, it seems cool, I just am not sure, but I did think about it again this morning!”.
July 12, 2021, came in at full speed. I had just returned from Florida: A brief escape from work. Family and friends all came together for a random weekend to meet someone special to me, I couldn’t have asked for a better time! I digress...I logged into my computer and saw my inbox, 387 unread emails sent me straight into a panic attack. I became extremely dizzy, my vision was blurry, and my heart rate tanked(S/O to Apple). I couldn’t even get myself out of my office into my living room to lay on the couch; I was afraid if I moved away, it’d only get worse - the emails, that is. So I started reading and replying to the emails, then my IM activated, and finally, my phone rang.
I answered, I recall trying to tell my coworker about my weekend but my words weren’t coming together to formulate sentences. She encouraged me to call someone and have them take me to the hospital, so, I did just that. 12 hours later, they released me with a diagnosis of bradycardia (which is nothing new to me).
The friend that took me in, had an ill mother (we have since lost her RIP) so he couldn’t stay, my boyfriend lived an hour away and I ensured him I was fine (I really didn’t want him worrying/helplessly there with me), and I didn’t tell my brothers until about 10 hours into the visit.
I spent this time, alone, deeply concerned about my life as I’m watching these numbers on the screen display no signs of improvement. My HR hovered between 30-35 and my BP sat @ 87/12 for hours. Finally, it stood clear to me that I’m in this position because I’m living out of alignment with my highest good.
I cried out to Danny, "I hear you, loud and clear!" And I made a promise to myself to no longer let myself down. I texted my brothers and told them what was going on but not to worry, I was okay, and please don’t tell mom and dad! It was as if I didn’t tell my family until I knew I was going to make myself better. And how did I make myself better? By making the decision to change my career, be in service to others, and bet on myself! It was in the moments of despair did I realize I needed to pursue my passion, not continue this life of checking boxes and climbing ladders.
The next morning, I drove to Wingate, my home. Headed straight to the fieldhouse and into Hamils office. Of course, I tell him nothing of the day I had yesterday, I just needed to be in his presence and ground myself by being in an environment so close to my heart. I get home that evening and apply to Jay Shetty Certification School. And, well, the rest is history!
In the past 9 months, I’ve grown to know myself at a deep, molecular, level and I am just so ready to share this process with the world! Each day brings new lessons, new challenges, and new insights. The greatest lesson I’ve learned in this process/school is you don’t have to be the perfect player to be the best coach. What I was limiting myself to believing was that I’m not perfect so there’s no way I can be a good coach or in service to others. The reality is, I’m not perfect and my willingness to accept, share, and be vulnerable with my imperfections are the very things that make me a great coach!
For those asking how we are celebrating this accomplishment; we’ve celebrated if you’ve read this far <3
Thank you for your support, love, and belief! I couldn’t have done it without you all. Continue to like/comment/share my content, provide feedback, be open to receiving, and let’s keep shining, together! That’s how we celebrate, by passing it all forward.
On to the next one! LFG!
Love you all madly,
MB
